why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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