i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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