So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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