why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize