She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
