Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
