Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
