it was like his penis was on wheels.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
