i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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