if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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