Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
