I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
