he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
