i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
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Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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