girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Enjoy the penises
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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