sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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