I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
