You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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