So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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