I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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