singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
