"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
