How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
What changed your mind?
Being sober
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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