I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
