Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
