nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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