I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
