i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We need to rekindle our bromance
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
