Someone shit on the floor
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
