Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
