Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
