After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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