Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
