Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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