I feel like abortions should bother me more
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
