dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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