words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
