Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You're earring is so big in my mouth
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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