I accidentally had phone sex last night
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Randomize
