I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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