My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
last night I used snow as a chaser
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
