We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
