Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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