You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize