Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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