I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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