I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
