Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
