Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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