i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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