if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
