ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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