its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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