I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
