Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
