What a fucking waste of an outfit
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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