why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
