Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
