Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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