i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
