I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
