fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
