I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
