On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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