We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
