i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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